Getting Over the "Fear"

Hi, all!  Wow, I'm finally posting again!  It's been a while.  I've been so busy with work, when I finally get a block of time to be able to sit and read my favorite blogs, I can't keep my eyes open. 

Well, first things first, THE WEIGH-IN.  Didn't go so well for me.  Actually, it's been a rough three weeks.  Week 1, gained a little, Week 2, gained a little, Week 3, gained A LOT!  I thought I would have had a better weigh-in this past week, but you know, things have a way of catching up, and then of course, so does "Mother Nature".  :)  Hopefully, that will all straighten itself out by Saturday, the next weigh-in.

So I woke up Saturday morning in a terrible, terrible mood.  Actually, I almost woke up in tears.  Don't know why.  Did have a bad dream but other than that, nothing was really bothering me.  Maybe I knew what the scale was going to say.  :)

Anyway, we had been thinking of going to the beach that day but never really made up our minds to do it.  So when I got up Saturday morning and hubby asked me to go, I was in no mood and wasn't prepared.  Didn't have anything in the house to prepare for beach lunches and knowing what the scale was going to say, I DID NOT want boardwalk food all day.  I felt all big and bloated and just didn't feel like being on the beach.

So I went to my meeting and by the time I came home, was really in a downer.  Sat around for a few hours feeling sorry for myself, and then hubby put his foot down.  He had had enough and decided to "take me away" for the day.  We took a ride to Atlantic City, walked on the boardwalk and met a friend for dinner.  I had a veggie wrap that was out of this world!  Spinach wrap stuffed with grilled veggies, hummus, sprouts, and some fresh mozzarella cheese.  Oh, my gosh, so good!  And instead of fries, it came with this beautiful little bowl of fresh fruit.  Yum!  Then on the way home (okay, yes, it was around 1:00 in the morning), I was hungry.  Not enough protein.  We stopped and I got a big bottle of milk and a little bag of almonds.  A little surprised that I went for the milk, but turned out to be a perfect snack for me.  Note to self, drink more milk.

And guess what!  On the boardwalk, they had a stage set up and the girls from Boogie Nights, a nightclub in Resorts Casino, were out there doing their hula hoop dancing!  In the nightclub, the girls, believe it or not, are on roller skates !!! and dance with hula hoops!!!  Seriously, I know, both of my favorite things.  I was so excited.  We walked over to watch the girls doing their hula tricks.   Then they pulled people from the crowd for a hula hoop contest.  NO, I DIDN'T, but now I'm regretting it.  I totally should have done it!  I am so close to be over it, but not yet there.  What I'm talking about is my fear of being in front of people and having everyone watch me.  We all know that comes from being overweight my entire life.  But I'm really regretting that I didn't just jump in and do it.  Next time, I will get over the fear and JUST DO IT!  Who cares what anyone else thinks!  Suck it up, forget about all those fears, look how far you've come, and JUST DO IT!

So in preparation of me getting over the fear, I'm thinking of posting a video of me with my hula hoop.  I know, it's not the same, but it's a step, right?  I've talked about it on the blog before but never had the nerve to do it.  Maybe soon, right?  Maybe very soon.  :)

I've come a long way in this journey, not just initially with losing the weight, but really, I'm such a different person.  Used to be I would never speak up, speak my mind.  Now I can't seem to keep my mouth shut, and sometimes it does get me in trouble.  I like to dance now, love music, LOVE CLOTHES AND FASHION, love activities, skating, dancing, hula hooping.  Got on my first roller coast (although a very small one) in years.   Just not intimidated with all those things that used to haunt me and keep me from enjoying my life.

So how have you or are you changing since you've started your journey?