Facing the Fears

Having basically discovered a side of myself in the past few years that I never knew existed, I have become self-confident, and a little outspoken at times, and I've learned to do things for myself that will help me continue to grow.   This isn't just about finding new hobbies or learning how to cook or bake.  This goes much deeper.   You have to face your fears.  Example, I'm trying to get more comfortable with speaking in front of a group of people.  Being a shy and overweight kid, teenager, and adult, this is a big deal for me.  I'm working on it.


I dealt with one just the other day.  I challenged myself once again to face it.  I have wanted to get out to the area and run where I have not run before, the marathon course, but I had this stupid fear of running alone in an unfamiliar area.  I had to get over this.  So on Tuesday, I went and I just got out on that trail and started to run.  You know, it's funny, those fears immediately began to shrink once I had my feet on the trail and started running.  

And this is not ALL about running, but also branches out into other parts of my life and future.  I am learning to stop being so comfortable with the things "just the way they are", face the fear, embrace it, deal with it, and then let it come crashing down.    


As you probably know if you read my blog, I will be running my first full marathon in November.  I chose to do this in November, knowing that most likely, my running buddy, Aimee, who has run every event with me aside from one 5K last Christmas, will not be at the start line with me for those 26.2 miles, and that I will definitely need to face some of the long training runs on my own.

The thought of running a marathon by myself scares the heck out of me, but it also excites me to know that I am facing yet another milestone, another hurdle, another fear, the fear of being alone.   And I KNOW I can do this!

A few weeks ago, I ran my longest distance ever, 15 miles, and I did it alone.  It was a wonderful feeling to know that I was able to do it, and it gave me hope as I continue to train.  I am terrified at the prospect of running 26.2 miles on my own and certainly would love it if Aimee were crossing that finish line with me, but regardless of what happens, I've made the commitment, and I intend to follow this through, NO MATTER WHAT.

I will face this fear, embrace it, deal with it, and let the fear of those 26.2 miles come crashing down at my feet and then stomp on it as I cross that finish line!