The Fear....What Am I So Afraid Of?

Fear, what am I so afraid of.  That is the question I am faced with today.  I had a rough week, monitored my weight during the week (as I normally do), and it went WAY UP.  I knew what it was.  It was a fluctation due to entirely too much sodium and also due to "mother nature", but it shocked me because I've never gone up 5 pounds so quickly, seriously, almost overnight, and I felt it.  All of sudden, the jeans didn't fit, and I panicked.

I knew what to do about the sodium, cut it out and drink tons of water.  Well, drinking tons of water just made me feel even bigger for a few days, and I panicked some more.  I had pretty much decided that I was not going to my meeting this morning, was DEFINITELY NOT getting on the scale at my Weight Watchers meeting, and was just going to have a little pity party for myself...which I did.

But I started feeling better last night and by this morning, I knew I was pretty much back to my weight from last week.

So what am I so afraid of?  That was the question my friend/leader asked me today.  Why, after being AT GOAL for a year and a half, am I so unsure and unaccepting of the fact that I am at goal.  I am NOT that person anymore.

And I NEVER WILL BE that person anymore.  I have come too far, learned too much, changed too much.   I am SO HAPPY, LOVE LIFE, ENJOY EVERYTHING SO MUCH MORE!

So what is it that is holding me back from accepting the fact that I really am in control of this forever?  What is it that I'm afraid of?  I guess bottom line is I am still afraid that I WILL BE THAT GIRL AGAIN, and I am not at my "forever goal weight" yet.

But I have to accept the fact that it has been a difficult year for me with some physical setbacks that have held me back from getting down to that "forever goal weight".   But those issues are resolving themselves, and there is really nothing stopping me now except my own fear.

But really, what's the worst that can happen?  It already happened.  I saw a number on the scale that scared the heck out of me, and I freaked.   So what did I learn from this week?  I learned that I got to that number, I continued doing what I know I need to do, make some adjustments, and just moved on.  I went to my meeting and faced the scale....because that's what I do and will do for the rest of my life, accept, adjust, and move on.

This girl ....

... is so much happier. 

This girl....

 ...is training to run a half marathon.  

This girl....

...loves to dress up in pretty clothes.  This girl....

...can pose for the camera now instead of hiding from it.

This girl....

 ...loves to hoop dance and make hula hoops.  This girl....

...loves to ride around town on her old pink bike.

This girl...

...is ready and can't wait to see what other fun and exciting things she can do now, things she would have never dreamed of doing 75 pounds ago!

I WILL NOT BE AFRAID because I am in control and will never go back.  I am moving on!  What a groovy life it is! 

Okay.  Now, who's ready for a snowball fight!  :)

Biting the Bullet

I've decided to go to my meeting and weigh-in this morning.  I know that the meeting does SO MUCH for me every week.   Even though I'm seriously not happy about having to get on the scale every week when I'm a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, the program works for me so I'm going to continue doing what I do, and that's to go to the meeting and get a recharge for the week.  I HAVE THE BEST WEIGHT WATCHERS LEADER AT MY MEETING!

Remember, it's a brand new day and you have the opportunity to make whatever you want out of it.  I'm not sure what I'm going to make out of it, work or play.  Options:  Go to the produce store, come home and work and cook a potroast for dinner, or go to the produce store, come home, have lunch, and then see if my niece and nephew want to take me sledding, something I haven't done in oh, 30 plus years, but have been anxious lately to get back on a sled.  I also would LOVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN!  Think it might just be a play day for me.

Happy Weekend to all and try to have a little fun today.