Determination

It's been a long road getting here, but I think I've arrived at the land of Determination. 

Who would have thought that I would ever choose running over dinner?  Not me.  Who would have thought that I would chose running on a hot muggy morning over sipping coffee in my air conditioned office?  Not me.  To choose to get up a 5:00 a.m. in order to get a run in before the heat of the sun kicks in?  What?!!!! 5:00 a.m.???  Really?   And who would have thought I would choose to run, rain or not, flooding or not, in order to run off some calories from one silly cupcake (as Woobie called it today, little sugar bomb). 

I am determined, determined to go a  little further each week, determined to not let little obstacles get in my way.  Today was a HUGE obstacle.    First, when I was all ready to get out there and run, it started to rain.  I said okay, I can run in a little light rain.....but it started pouring.  Now, not long ago, I would have called it quits for the day, but the "new me" took it a little further, pulled up the weather channel on the computer and looked at the map.  Oh, look, to the west is a spot of clearing with no rain.  If I  move quick, this is my window of opportunity.

So off I went to the park.  Going down the road to the park, we saw township trucks all over the place pumping water off the roadway.  Not a good sign.  As I drove into the park, only one car in the parking lot and I could see a big lake in the middle of the lawn.  Not a good sign.  But still, it's not raining.  I'll just get on the trails, get my run in before it rains.  Got my hat and my vest in case it starts raining.  I'm good to go.

Only problem was it seemed every direction I headed led me to a scene similar to this.

....or this.

 Even the paved part of the trails were flooded.  I had no choice at one point but to take a chance and run through it.  Not so bad at first, just a little splash, and then A BIG SPLASH, and the new running shoes have now been baptized!

Still, I went on.  I found that the paved road had only one area that was flooded, and that road led to a trail that was completely dry.  So I just ran that route a couple times and ended up getting in a pretty good run.  After a few laps, I got tired of running through that one big area of water, so I climbed through a split rail fence and ran on the outside of the park back to the entrance.

I was determined to get that run in no matter what. 

Last weekend I ran my long run (8 miles) without my running partner.  I was out there alone, just me and my music and my thoughts, and I have to admit, I got a little emotional.  I started thinking of my Dad.  He always battled with me as a kid and a teenager to take the weight off.  I remember so clearly him telling me to get the weight off while I was young, that it would be so much harder as I got older.  But I didn't get it.  Now, granted, this is the same dad that took his little girl with to 7-Eleven for cigars, and I always got slim jims or beernuts or lifesavers!  I can remember going on diets with him where I ate nothing but salad with dry tuna and diet dressing (yuck).  I can remember riding the exercise bike, going to exercise classes with women who wore the body suits and leotards, and I looked awful in them.  Anyway, I wondered what he would think of me now.  I KNOW that he would be down in A.C. to watch me run my first half-marathon.  Actually, in a way, he will be there, and I know he'll be cheering me on.  See, I'm getting all emotional again.

At this point, I was getting tired trying to get that 8 miles in.  Then I thought of all those people, friends, family, strangers who made fun of my weight issues as a kid.  I remember those words, "fat", "chubby", "husky", "rhino", "hippo" and many, many more.  Such painful words.  I admit I got angry at that point, and it was those memories that pulled me to the end of that 8 mile run.  

Look at me now!   Yeah, it took me a while, but LOOK AT ME NOW!  

Remembering all of that has given me more power each day to do this.  I CAN and I WILL get to that finish line and run many more races in the future.   Determination?  Yeah, I think so!